The Life and Times of a Part Time Dreamer....

Lately, I have been trying to rediscover peace and joy in my life. I know that sounds all deep and spiritual, which it is, but you must understand that I remember these things coming to me fairly easily. I remember being easy in my soul and not being ashamed to find joy in just watching the sunshine, or reading a good story. I find that I struggle with feeling ineffective and lazy. The solution for this seemed obvious; get off my butt and actually accomplish something. Thus the blogging, cleaning, and attempting to keeping a running list of what needs to be done this week. It's coming on a week now of using this to shake the crazies and fill the space. It appears to be working in a half and half kind of way. I can no longer feel guilty for being lazy and I live in a clean home. However, I still wait for the emptiness to fill. Surprisingly being a mom is not the powerful fulfilling calling I imagined it to be. I mean, it is, in the long run. I know that. But the day to day t...

  About a month ago we purchased some new members of our family. Fish. The two dalmatian mollies were named Treasure and Pile-o-skulls, and the Two black mollies were named The Black Captain and Eowyn. These last two pay homage to my ever growing love for The Lord of the Rings , The Black Captain being the name of the King of the ring wraiths, and Eowyn being his ultimate end. Que the foreshadow-y music. We bought the tank, the food, some plants, and even the water treatment stuff to make our water "safe for the fish." Little did I know that I had brought home two little murderers. For a while, everything went normally. Feed the fish, wave at the fish, forget about the fish. Periodically I'd count them to make sure one hadn't died or escaped. Until one day before leaving the house I count three instead of four. I poked around a bit to see if he was hiding or dead somewhere at the top but came up empty. Finally, I found the body dump. Pile-o-Skulls was ...

My baby girl has come to grips with how hard struggling with exhaustion can be. Everything is hard. Sleeping, eating, struggling to rub the itching off your nose, these become impossible tasks that end in tears every time. I, in my infinite mom wisdom, prescribe a nap and some animal crackers to try and slow the slipping into inconsolable sobbing.   Although it may be completely obvious to me that she is just tired and can no longer handle the changes and frustrations of being an ever learning toddler, she is still learning to understand what being exhausted feels like. All she knows is that she doesn't like the way she feels.  It's going to take her several years to learn to self-prescribe a nap, and that it is ok to do so. It took me until I was at least 13. Some adults I know still don't know when to cut themselves and break.  I hope that I can help my daughter understand that it's not the tears that are her enemy. Tears are just a sign of bein...

Upon my word, I do believe I have reached a new record in ignoring my blog and allowing great opportunities to pass by. However, I have found that in promising to do better, I sabotage myself.  Therefore, I promise nothing. I commit to nothing. I am only here because it brings me joy to write. I do love this blog. It contains all the crazy of my 14-year-old self and on, thus it is a part of who I am and who I shall become. If I get nothing out of this place but the feeling of finally shaking this terrible cabin fever, I shall be happy. North Dakota winters are murderous. It is the longest six months of the year and the last three are the worst. I spend my days hoping that the sun will shine and that the temperature rises above 25 degrees Farenhight. Nights are bad because I am too restless to sleep. 3 AM brings that crazy voice in the back of your head that chants, " you should be sleeping, ooooh girl you gonna be so tired tomorrow." That's right, my inner crazy is a ...

Last weeks art post was a bust. However, I haven't said a word this week because my time has been divided between sleeping, eating, and entertaining my five-tear-old brother.  I have had the joy of spending the last few days keeping tabs on the house, reading books, kissing boo-boos and generally dying of pregnancy tired.  Today was good because the neighbor kids came over and kept Baby Bro entertained while I got some much needed rest. They are currently in the pool on the porch and I have the privilege of listening to their imaginative games and occasional crisis.  I've decided being a kid was much more fun than being an adult. I mean nobody brings me towels when I'm cold or makes sure I have snacks and juice while I do nothing but play in the pool. Then again, maybe I'm just a good sister.  I have been learning to take joy in the small success of the day. Like the fact that my dishes are done, I fed my husband and my brother a good lunch, and b...

I'm and English major. So like what? Do you write?Are you going to teach? What do you even do? What can you do with an "English Major"? I mean, ew, books and stuff. I hated English in school. Why would you go into that? Bleh! Look you poor poor souls out there who don't know how to appreciate, empathy, the human condition, or even the joy in being part of a great story, I am so sorry for you! You like movies? Video games? TV shows? What about making connections with other people because you finally understand them a little bit more because they compared what they are feeling to how someone in a book, story, movie, etc. was feeling? If you are human, you really do like English. Sorry that's just the way our world runs. This. What I am writing and you are reading right now. This is English. I'm creating a bond with you through a medium we both understand. You may prefer video, photo, or music,  but this a medium everyone who learns to read can appr...

So it begins.  Yesterday I attempted to make puff pastry from scratch. I honestly thought I had ruined it. Puff pastry fluffs and rises because the thousand of layers of dough and butter. That's right a thousand  but surprisingly it didn't take as long as all that because your layers double or triple each time you fold the dough.  You smash the chilled butter between plastic rap and then lay the butter on your dough so it covers 2/3 of the dough.  You fold it up and you begin to roll it out and fold it over and over. I was going along no problem right up until the butter started to get warm. Suddenly I had butter squirting everywhere and covering the rolling pin and the counter and the dough. I quickly folded it up wrapped it in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. wondering if it could be saved.   I ultimately asked the internet for help and found this lovely video . (I recommend her recipe, mine came out of my culinary book and deals ...