The Life and Times of a Part Time Dreamer....

Ellie is napping and the dishes are done, so before she wakes up and we have to run errands I wanted to place an update here. The thirty-day challenge has been a good place to draw up creativity when I have none but for today I want to get back to my life and what's been going on. I've been thinking a lot about being comfortable in my body. For most of my life, I have been told that I am attractive and beautiful. This is thanks to my wonderful group of friends and my wonderful family. I can thank my genetics too, I do happen to have a great looking mom and two beautiful grandmothers. However, I still struggled with feeling comfortable in my body. By this, I mean feeling like my clothes fit nicely, that my hair at least looks done, and ultimately that when others look at me they aren't wondering when I last had a shower or if I've been eating too much fast food. I recognise that this is just me projecting what I think others think about me. But recognising this...

Day four:  Write a story/excerpt to include the line, “Sorry, we can’t insure you for a journey like that.” One of my favourite books was also written by my favourite artist (no offence Grandma, you come a very very close second.) James Christensen has a marvellous imagination and I am always in awe of the detail and vibrant colours. This is a painting of " The College of Magical Knowledge" which is one of the many places visited in the book The Voyage of the Basset a play on Darwin's Voyage of the Beagle in which he logged many species of animal and their evolutions. In this book, a Professor sets out on a mythical journey to find proof for why we need legends and myth; why imagination and stories have a place in the modern world of science and discovery. It is a fantastic read featuring many beautiful paintings to illustrate the marvellous and beings and creatures they meet and learn from. The part I want to draw inspiration from for today's topic is somet...

Write about the worst time you’ve ever put your foot in your mouth. I make a point in my life to never swear. I don't use any curse words and I never take the name of God in vain. For some reason, I decided to try out the word Hell while I was in college. I've broken that habit now, but it was in my vocabulary for a while, but only used under that most extreme circumstances. In my young and brain, it was a way to shake off the label of being an innocent 18-year-old who was too ignorant to know how to properly place a strong word when I needed one. Having learned the value of a well placed word as an English major I realise that crude words have no place in a respected person's vocabulary. I tell you this passed habit because I want to tell you what made me turn around and stop using it immediately. It was my bachelorette and we were having a great time eating food and playing games. My best friend was pregnant and I was passively listening to her co...

Tell about a character who lost something important to him/her.  My name is Rick. I run the counter at a tourist stop. People come here to see the "Largest Buffalo in the World!" Which is really just a glorified pinata made of cement and chicken wire. A feat of engineering, yes, but the real reason everyone stops here is we have the only gas station for the next 200 miles. The offseason is the worst. I sometimes go two to three weeks without seeing a single person. It's a job though and will pay for me to fix my 1989 Ford and get out and away to college. With all this time on my hands, you'd think I'd have an avid following on twitter or facebook. Social media would be an excellent time waster for a dull job like mine. However, the Wifi out here is the equivalent of a dial-up connection. Even my laptop hums like a dinosaur Windows 98 trying to load one or two pictures on a page. The lost-and-found bin, that's where the real action is. After a good l...

I struggle to inspire myself on this blog.  The blank word document is sooooooo not exciting.  So I found a generic 30-day challenge to try just for fun. I'll leave it here for reference and if any of you like it feel free to try it too.  Day one: Select a book at random in the room.  Find a novel or short story, copy down the last sentence and use this line as the first line of your new story "As for the rest of us, well it is agreed that if any one of us ever escapes alive from this place, he will write the fact here, and loyally hide this manuscript with the Boss, our dear good chief, whose property it is, be he alive or dead."-  A Connecticut Yankee in King Auther's Court  by Mark Twain  Do I believe this strange text to be "the fact" as the author so eloquently put it? I clicked the end of my pen in thought and scratch out some more notes on my entry log. The book had come in with the latest shipment of artifacts to ...

I can't write today.  I can't tell you what I feel in my soul because it is impossible. Words are not the right medium for what lies within.  If I make an attempt now to express what I feel, I will only return to it later to find that it is not at all what I meant.  I will say this.  Loving, and being loved, are the hardest and most painfully glorious things we experience in this life.  Fin.

When spring finally arrives in my corner of the world, we get up, we get out, and we get on with it! This means many a trip to the library to observe the fish and choose what we will read while out in the sunshine.  We go to the zoo and chase the Prong horns and the Whistle pigs. ( these are technically called ground squirrels. but whistle pigs sounds more fun) We have lovingly named them fuzz lizards because when they run you could easily mistake them for a lizard at first glance. We go a rediscover the swings which we haven't seen since October.  Precision plans are made for the next adventure. Sticky fingers make great map markers. We make sure a document our disturbance of the wildlife. And lastly, we make memories to look back on, with the hopes of many more to come.  Here's to many more adventures to come as the weather finally allows us out of the house and on to adventure....

Lately, I have been trying to rediscover peace and joy in my life. I know that sounds all deep and spiritual, which it is, but you must understand that I remember these things coming to me fairly easily. I remember being easy in my soul and not being ashamed to find joy in just watching the sunshine, or reading a good story. I find that I struggle with feeling ineffective and lazy. The solution for this seemed obvious; get off my butt and actually accomplish something. Thus the blogging, cleaning, and attempting to keeping a running list of what needs to be done this week. It's coming on a week now of using this to shake the crazies and fill the space. It appears to be working in a half and half kind of way. I can no longer feel guilty for being lazy and I live in a clean home. However, I still wait for the emptiness to fill. Surprisingly being a mom is not the powerful fulfilling calling I imagined it to be. I mean, it is, in the long run. I know that. But the day to day t...

  About a month ago we purchased some new members of our family. Fish. The two dalmatian mollies were named Treasure and Pile-o-skulls, and the Two black mollies were named The Black Captain and Eowyn. These last two pay homage to my ever growing love for The Lord of the Rings , The Black Captain being the name of the King of the ring wraiths, and Eowyn being his ultimate end. Que the foreshadow-y music. We bought the tank, the food, some plants, and even the water treatment stuff to make our water "safe for the fish." Little did I know that I had brought home two little murderers. For a while, everything went normally. Feed the fish, wave at the fish, forget about the fish. Periodically I'd count them to make sure one hadn't died or escaped. Until one day before leaving the house I count three instead of four. I poked around a bit to see if he was hiding or dead somewhere at the top but came up empty. Finally, I found the body dump. Pile-o-Skulls was ...

My baby girl has come to grips with how hard struggling with exhaustion can be. Everything is hard. Sleeping, eating, struggling to rub the itching off your nose, these become impossible tasks that end in tears every time. I, in my infinite mom wisdom, prescribe a nap and some animal crackers to try and slow the slipping into inconsolable sobbing.   Although it may be completely obvious to me that she is just tired and can no longer handle the changes and frustrations of being an ever learning toddler, she is still learning to understand what being exhausted feels like. All she knows is that she doesn't like the way she feels.  It's going to take her several years to learn to self-prescribe a nap, and that it is ok to do so. It took me until I was at least 13. Some adults I know still don't know when to cut themselves and break.  I hope that I can help my daughter understand that it's not the tears that are her enemy. Tears are just a sign of bein...

Upon my word, I do believe I have reached a new record in ignoring my blog and allowing great opportunities to pass by. However, I have found that in promising to do better, I sabotage myself.  Therefore, I promise nothing. I commit to nothing. I am only here because it brings me joy to write. I do love this blog. It contains all the crazy of my 14-year-old self and on, thus it is a part of who I am and who I shall become. If I get nothing out of this place but the feeling of finally shaking this terrible cabin fever, I shall be happy. North Dakota winters are murderous. It is the longest six months of the year and the last three are the worst. I spend my days hoping that the sun will shine and that the temperature rises above 25 degrees Farenhight. Nights are bad because I am too restless to sleep. 3 AM brings that crazy voice in the back of your head that chants, " you should be sleeping, ooooh girl you gonna be so tired tomorrow." That's right, my inner crazy is a ...