The Life and Times of a Part Time Dreamer....

I guess the best place to start would probably be at the beginning but this time I think beginning in the middle will do just fine. After all we can always come back to the beginning at the end. Have I confused you yet? :) So lots has happened. I got a job, married off my best friend, and I continue to march through my Senior year. And what beautiful day is has been today. Lately I have found my self increasingly drawn into the written word, ex specially since I have taken up reading Jane Eyre. The eloquence, imagery, and originality is astonishing with every page I turn. "Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton?--a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!--I have as much soul as you,--and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me wi...

Do you ever get the feeling that if you look up there will be a mob of responsibilities waiting to come crashing down on you the moment you look away? You spend your whole day waiting and watching until you feel you'll go bonkers! Every once in a while you'll take down one of the less threatening ones and finish it, while the other, bigger, meaner, problems get more impatient and unmanageable. You keep making plans to get your list finished, as it steadily gets longer and longer, but seem to always find something else to take up that time. You find yourself searching for other things to do to distract you from thinking about those looming responsibilities. And as you avoid them, they get louder and begin shoving each other around in order to become first on your list of to-do's. When you finally have to stop avoiding them and lay down to sleep at night, you can't, because as you lay there trying to sink into oblivion they begin to chase each other madly, around and arou...

“If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!” - Shel Silverstein Places to visit Never land Middle earth Hogwarts Wonderland Narnia Far Far Away Treasure Island Wild wood The Enchanted Forest Foo Alagaesia Oz The Hundred Acre Wood Caribbean Things to pack Invisibility Cloak Wand Pixy Dust Lembas Bread Mithril Armor Elvin Cloak Ruby Slippers Compass Unicorn Water Sword Snacks Magic Carpet People to Meet King Aurthur The Fellowship of the Ring Tin Man, Scarecrow, The Lion Fairy God Mother Harry Potter Peter Pan Captain Hook Tinker Bell The Cheshire Cat The Mad Hatter Aslan Mr. Tumnas Reepacheep Peter, Edmund, Susan, and Lucy Cinderella ( single) Prince Charming Long John Silver Merlin Unicorn Dragon Winnie The Pooh Tigger Rabbit Kanga Roo Owl Eeor Piglet

lets see what has been interesting this week.... we'll start with Friday: I was saddled with the task of babysitting my baby brother that morning while my mother went to my dear sweet cousins wedding. So I walked around in my flowery jammie pants and giggled and cooed at my new baby brother who has taken to giggling with a slight smirk on his face that seems to say " ha ha you look so dumb when you do that." When mom returned I got dressed and brushed my hair to go with her to the luncheon for the wedding attenders. I watched as my cousin floated around in her dress of white fluff and beauty, she was gorgeous. I watched while the uncles and grandparents talked and listen in passing as the aunts gossiped and laughed. I managed to track down my counter part in crime, my other awesome cousin, and give him the hard time I had been meaning to for a while. Later that night I wandered around the reception and played with my younger cute and fun girl cousins. They were all so exc...

"Jump jump!! come on!! no..no... nonoonononno!!!! dang it! DIE DIE!!! HA!" " Move over! wait! You pushed me down a hole! HIYA!! TAKE THAT! OHNO! fuzz..." These are the sounds that float up from our basement as my sisters struggle to master our new video game. Super Mario Brothers WII. As they wave the controls in the air and yell things like " Wait for me!" and " Don't die!", it looks and sounds like some strange ritual dance. I can't help laughing. It gets more interesting as they start to have conversations with each other. " We need to visit the KILL IT! KILL IT! the uh , the library." " Oh ya, my book is, AAH! dumb goomba!, my book, overdue, it is." It's like Yoda speak with strange interjections. I love my sisters but I'm beginning to wonder just how much I could get for them at the funny farm. My favorite part is when they start making up words like" snozle fluff", " Gooberfuzz", and ...

I have discovered that there is something oddly satisfying about writing in crayon. The colors. The artistic messiness. I like feeling like a five year old again. Coloring and remembering when my biggest problem was when I couldn't find my yellow crayon. Bubbles too have the odd effect of making you feel like a magical fairy princess. Sitting on top of our paint chipped truck in my new favorite sun dress, blowing bubbles into the breeze while the summer sun bleaches out my hair. love it. I used to have this blue basket that had all my hair barrettes in it. Purple bows, pink flowers, sparkly yellow ones, all a part of my collage of little girl hair things. I remember that dad would come home from work and after attacking him at the door with a strangle-the-life-out-of-you hug and a slobbery wet kiss we would have dinner . Then after dinner when mom had finally convinced me, after I had fed my two year old brother several hand fulls of sand, to come inside and get my jamies on; I wou...

I can hear it always. Scraping at the edges of its squalid prison. Raking at the walls demanding freedom. Sometimes it is silent but the restless rise and fall of it’s breathing never let’s it drift from thought. At times it RAWRS! Bellowing to be set free, fire jetting from its mighty jaws! It pounds on the walls and pulls its binding chains taught. It gouges holes in the walls with its powerful claws. But I will not let it out. It watches me through the cracks created in the weaker edges of its dungeon. Its burning eyes tell me there will be no mercy the day it is finally free. It knows I’m the one that locked it away, the one that built the walls that hold it captive. Stone by stone with bloody hands I built its prison to stop the pain. To lock away the monster. Unwilling to face the torment it brought upon me. I shut it in never to let it go. Hoping it would disappear. Some days the door creaks and bends threatening to break. Sometimes it nearly escapes. I force it back inside, str...

Trapped in the house in my windowless room, while the whole house is asleep. How do I escape? Bring on the books!!! I spend the next few hours absorbing the first 300 pages of Gone With the Wind. As my nose remains firmly wedged between the pages of the incredible story, I bask in the beauty and eloquence of the writing and character depth. Soon I am there, smoothing my petty coats along side Scarlette O' Hara and Melly Wilkes. Fluttering my taffeta fan and enjoying the glory of being a southern belle. Wincing at the flare of Scarlettes temper, and admiring the more gentlemanly side of Rhett Buttler. All the while thinking, how does one write something so..... inspiring, glorious, REAL. You have to know your characters inside and out, you have to know what you're talking about, and live in each of there shoes. The witty dialogue, the picture of the absolute reality of cruel, hard, changing life. I hope some day, maybe, I can write something so moving and real, that it will neve...

TIME: 10:30am PLACE: Head Quarters OBJECTIVE: begin mission MISSION LOG: Woke to a dark room and a silent house. Something is defiantly differant. Will search base and report back. 10:45am- Base is deserted except for our second youngest recruit ( private) . Red leader and all other agents have left on some mission unknown to me. Now paging Red leader to receive orders. 10:50am- NEW MISSION: Fold uniforms and clean mess hall. Will assign Private to complete these tasks while I arrange a meeting. 2:30pm- NEW MISSION: Deliver packages to the black market ( DI). Have momentarily left HQ. Meeting with secret agents Pinky, Sunglasses, and Sweets. Will begin mission ( with side trips to the mall and music store) and scope the perimeter for dark haired cuties. 5:30pm- Returned to HQ after consuming yummy breads and staking out down town. ( which was extremely difficult to navigate, given all the one-way streets). No dark haired cuties. 8:30pm-NEW MISSION: Make run to the medic tent to retrie...

Wouldn't you know it, the one time that a writing craze actually grabs me and says PUT THE PENCIL TO THE PAPER is 12:25 at night, right after finishing Thing I Know About Love ( incredible book by the way, loved it). So considering I probly would have been shot or getting up in the middle of the night to post this I decided to wait for a more reasonable hour. So lets take a trip back in time or a moment and see what was going through my mind 10 hours ago... I've decided I need to start writing again, ex specially about my life, but I also feel like I need to have a point so I guess my point will be... Things I Know About Life. So lets jump in shall we. Life is a scramble for me right now. I know, I know, It's summer right, everything is supposed to be cool and relaxed, no school- no problems right? WRONG! that has to be the biggest fattest lie I have ever been exposed to. If anything it's more stressed because you no longer have school as an excuse to why you can't...

... Her bare feet softly pressed into the sun warmed soil as she once again made the journey through the many fragrances and blooms of her cherished garden. The Lilly's, the sun flowers, huge lilacs, and wild flowers that grew freely where ever space would allow. The breeze gently blew her white sun dress around her legs and her wide brimmed sun hat drooped to hide her face. She had been here among her flowers all day but she wished to visit her roses one last time. It was nearly sun down and the evening had just begun to cool from the summers heat. At last she reached the roses. Large velvety splashes of color colored every bush. She couldn't resist burying her nose in one of the rich beautiful blossoms and inhaling the glorious sent. she gently stroked her cheek against it's satin petals, cradling the blossom in both of her fair hands. She replaced the rose and reached for another higher up. The bushes towered higher than she was tall and covered every wall of the garden....

The sun. How many beautiful things are only here on earth because of the sun? It greets us at first light and shines all day, it warms our toes and breaths life into everything around us. The plants, the animals, even the people feel the difference when the sun is out. I love to stand bare foot in the sun warmed earth and let it shine on my face. It wakes me up and makes me grateful for the beauty of the world I live in. I belong here. Here among the warm breeze and smell of pine. Here where the world can't touch me, where only the sun the earth and the trees exist and live together in perfect balance. The world does it's best to control everything, the way we dress, the way we talk, what our job is, who we're supposed to be, the climate, what we read, what we watch, even how we think about things and other people. Man is desperate to gain control of everything, even other men. People complain about the weather, the weeds, the wild life. It's too uncivilized, too dirty,...

And so we continue on our insane exploration of what exactly happened on Choir tour. who's driving this nut bus anyway?! Lets recap, After whale watching ( the invisible whales and several visible dolphins) and getting as sandy ad possible we piled back on our big red bus and headed back to the hotel. We primped and beautified getting as much sea water smell off as possible so we could continue our day with an attendance of a dinner show. we attended a performance of Eva by Andrew Lloyd Webber. we were served an excellent dinner before the show and more soda then we could ever drink. (Every one at my table had to get up to pee sometime during the performance). It was well done, I think, I'm not an expert, but the voices were good and the play was entertaining though a bit dark for my taste it has by no means a happy ending. afterwords all 39 of us girls invaded a grocery store. We couldn't go anywhere without making an entrence. So as half of us sleepily wandered the isles...

" There is no half singing in the shower, you're either a Rock star or an Opera diva."~ Josh Groban Whether it's Rubbery Ducky or Carmen, whether you can hit the high notes or can't carry a tune in a bucket, everybody sings in the shower! What is it that makes the shower the best place to sing? is it the sound of our voices vibrating off the walls of our tiled stage? perhaps it's the fantasy that when the shower door closes nobody can hear you. regardless of the reason we as humans can never resists the temptation to belt it when behind the shower curtains. sometimes when stretching to reach those high notes or trying my best to grind out those low notes I stop and wonder if those real rock stars and opera divas sing in the shower. And if they do, do they sing as they would on stage, or do they sing like those weirdos out there (including myself) and try all kinds of funny voices? I for one feel that if your just humming to your self or mumbling a l...

So I fully intend to put up the rest of tour here very soon. But sadly the end of the school year rush has begun and I'm finding it very hard to get motivated. people are graduating and teachers are cramming and to be honest I kind of want to tie some balloons to my house and escape. Imagine all the helium! I'd be a super soprano for a month! :) any way just thought I'd give you a heads up and make every one feel a little happier because who wouldn't want a cloud of balloons tied to their house. if every one brings a balloon we might just be able to escape! peace out everyone !!

39 nine teen girls, 16 hours, and a very uncomfortable bus = complete and total chaos!!!!! I have officially returned from tour ( I actually came back on Tuesday but I I needed some turn around time before I was willing to admit that I am really all here) My beautiful and angelic choir known as the Belcantos took a four day trip down to LA to participate in the festival of gold ( an invitation only choir competition) and to get to share the beautiful music we had been perfecting all year with new people. So at the decidedly late hour of 10pm Thursday night all 46 of us ( chaperone's, director, and pianist included) we piled on a large red bus and began a very memorable trip. Now the first thing we need to realize is that sleep is impossible when you are surrounded by friends in the first place, but when the Director stands and tells us all that ,it's lights out or he'll put our lights out, most of us tend to obey. Now I pride myself in being able to sleep better in a movi...

This is a piece of writing I turned into our school literature book. It's a memoir of my experiences at the real Lake View Park. The setting of the rainy day isn't real but it gave the piece the feel I wanted. Enjoy. The rain tickles through the leaves of the tree tapping my umbrella with unsure fingers. My rain coat squeaks as I move. The smell of the wet leaves and dirt bring back so many memories of playing in puddles and running in the mud. The vacant playset sways in the breeze. The paint chipped merry go round and swings beckon to be played on. The ducks playing in the canal just over the small hill, can be heard splashing and swimming in the spring shower. I am alone, my blue Grand-am the only car in the lot. I run my hand over the wet bark of the huge birch I stand under. Even now I still can’t put my arms all the way around its’ large trunk. “It’s been too long.” I murmur to myself as I trace the rough patterns of the bark. I watch the water pool on the leaf strewn asp...

I roll over and glance at the glowing green numbers on my clock across the room. 6:35 am I moan, roll over, and dedicate my self to ,at the very least, ten more minutes of sleep before I venture out into life again. I tuck my icy toes up closer where the blanket is warmer and try to suppress the dread of facing a day trapped behind the cement walls of the prison, misnamed as school, that I voluntarily go to everyday ( granted some days I go only by being held at gun point). I slip into the darkness of a wakeful sleep dreaming briefly of unfinished home work and ridiculous teachers. 6:45... ( growl) I stretched and stare at my ceiling blinking, slowly, very slowly, winning the fight against my heavy eyelids. Things that need to be done chasing themselves in dizzying circles. I work to stuff them down in a drawer of my mind so that I can think strait. Outside my blanket the air is chilly. I hunker under again saying I'll only stay in here for a minute, just until my toes are warm. My...

I used to always want to be a princess when I was younger, I just knew I was going to marry some handsom charming prince with a white horse and dashing smile and I was going to make the right chioce the first time and never have to have my heart broken. but "once upon a time" I realized I didn't want to be that fluffy princess that had to be saved all the time. I learned to fight my own dragons and learned to make the chioces that needed to be made.which in a way has been my down fall, it's made me proud and head strong and stubborn. And I'm still learning to rein myself in. I guess that pride and confidence of doing things my self has made me intimidating to some people. instead of that smiling inocent princess that does what she's told I've become a towering headstrong empriss with no patience for silly people. It's not right and I'm ashamed of that pride. I want to have that patience and kindness and I try to be soft spoken , but I still cant st...

I recently read a new trilogy and I strongly recommend it to all those readers out there who enjoy Pride and Prejudice or any of Jane Austen's works. Everyone would love to know what the alleged Mr.Darcy is really thinking. Handsome, tall, proud, but quiet and cool enough to drive anyone nuts with the thought of what really is going on behind the well composed features of his solum face. These amazingly well written books bring to light the thoughts and actions of the mysterious Lord of Pemberly and Darbeshire. What brings him to propose to a woman he's come in contact with only a few times and how does he handle her abrupt and chilly refusal. Pamela Aidan has written incredibly well what few others have attempted. They are absolutely some of my most favorite books that I have read. An Assembly Such as This, Duty and Desire, and These Three Remain are captivating and will be as easy read for any romantic. There have been several attempts to capture exactly who Mister Darcy i...

a book a swing a blanket a tree the sun The dew soaks through my jeans as I sit cross legged on the still damp ground, hopelessly buried in my newest novel. The spring breeze plays with my hair and sends chills down my back. My quilt lays under the swing still folded, the intriguing story having engulfed my attention before I could get properly settled. I turn yet another page and shift my stiff legs out from under me. unconsciously I slip off my shoes and lay back in the grass. A rustling disturbs my thoughts and the the sound of panting proceeds the appearance of a wet pink tongue and dog breath. H aving been thoroughly distracted from my book I reach up and ruffle the monsters ears and wipe the slobber from my face. Rising to one elbow I survey my solitude and find joy in the smell of the afternoon air and the twitter of the newly returned birds. With a humph the animal flops down beside me and continues to grin and pant. I lay against her warm side knowing I'll h...

HAPPY DAYS!!!!!! Little baby brother has finally arrived and isn't he the sweetest face you've ever seen. Sunday afternoon he came into the world and brought a smile to all our faces. I got to hold him today and listen as he talked ( or squeeked) in his sleep. He already has that baby smell and he has the most adorable little yawn. He's so tiny and soft, the way I talk about it you'd think this was my first sibling. But no, he's the fifth in our family and will probably be the most spoiled. 7lbs 15oz he swooped right in and captured everyones hearts. This is the start of a new begining for our family. ;) Brand new and beautiful.

Valentines has passed and life goes on pretty much the same. the sun is shining more often and the snow is beginning to melt. and I'm stuck inside with strep!!!! Isn't it ironic. The week you decide to do something with your life is the week you get sick. oh well at least I have a chance to sit down. So a couple weeks ago I took my all too round dog and decided to cure both of ours cabin fever. We went for a walk around our neighborhood. It was sunny and slushy in the snow and I got to check up on things I hadn't seen since my last walk( which was before the snow fell). When we returned home I ventured out into the frozen wasteland of my backyard to see what I could find. my curiosity was rewarded. BUNNY TRACKS on the undisturbed snow I found a trail of bunny tracks. In my imagination I took on my fur trapper persona and fallowed the tracks. I probably was something very funny to look at as I hopped from foot to foot through the snow, trying not to get snow in my snow b...