Day three (Ssssshhhh.. I know it's a little late)
Write about the worst time you’ve ever put your foot in your mouth.
I make a point in my life to never swear. I don't use any curse words and I never take the name of God in vain.
For some reason, I decided to try out the word Hell while I was in college. I've broken that habit now, but it was in my vocabulary for a while, but only used under that most extreme circumstances.
In my young and brain, it was a way to shake off the label of being an innocent 18-year-old who was too ignorant to know how to properly place a strong word when I needed one.
Having learned the value of a well placed word as an English major I realise that crude words have no place in a respected person's vocabulary.
I tell you this passed habit because I want to tell you what made me turn around and stop using it immediately.
It was my bachelorette and we were having a great time eating food and playing games. My best friend was pregnant and I was passively listening to her conversation across the room. She mentioned her newly acquired stretch marks and how they made her feel uncomfortable. I had recently seen a picture with the words " you should never feel bad about getting stretch marks because giving birth makes you a G** D**M tiger earning her stripes." So in my loud and confident way, I almost shouted these words to her from across the room and, without thinking to edit, included the words "God" and "Damn."
The room went silent.
I can't tell you how many times I've relived this moment. Knowing that in one sentence had offended myself, and all the women whom I respect. I floundered to save any face that I could. In the few seconds I stood there I couldn't decide whether to quickly apologise and laugh it off as the slip that it was, (which is what I know I should have done every time I relive this), or try and defend my poor language. Instead, I stood there looking just as dumb as I sounded, the intended boost of confidence completely lost in my appalling language.
My dear friend and roommate Kiah, to whom I will ever feel grateful, said, "Kara I'll allow you to use the word Hell in our apartment but I have to draw the line at taking the lords name in vain." I can't convey it here but she said it in such a way that we were all able to uncomfortably laugh it off and enjoy the rest of the evening.
I spent the next ten minutes trying to recover from the embarrassment and shook it off to enjoy the party. But that night as I lay in bed reliving the mortification, I realised I had allowed my standard for myself to slip just enough that I allowed those words to pass my lips. Would my bad habit of using the word hell turn me into a crude, curse using, tramp? I decided then and there that no word that was offensive and crude would ever pass my lips again. I would use my skills with vocabulary to get my point across and never resort to cursing.
I'm sure that this will still haunt those wakeful hours before I fall asleep, just as all embarrassing memories do. I'll cringe and shake if off and once again say I'll never do that again, but maybe wrting it here will help me make some peace with it.
I make a point in my life to never swear. I don't use any curse words and I never take the name of God in vain.
For some reason, I decided to try out the word Hell while I was in college. I've broken that habit now, but it was in my vocabulary for a while, but only used under that most extreme circumstances.
In my young and brain, it was a way to shake off the label of being an innocent 18-year-old who was too ignorant to know how to properly place a strong word when I needed one.
Having learned the value of a well placed word as an English major I realise that crude words have no place in a respected person's vocabulary.
I tell you this passed habit because I want to tell you what made me turn around and stop using it immediately.
It was my bachelorette and we were having a great time eating food and playing games. My best friend was pregnant and I was passively listening to her conversation across the room. She mentioned her newly acquired stretch marks and how they made her feel uncomfortable. I had recently seen a picture with the words " you should never feel bad about getting stretch marks because giving birth makes you a G** D**M tiger earning her stripes." So in my loud and confident way, I almost shouted these words to her from across the room and, without thinking to edit, included the words "God" and "Damn."
The room went silent.
I can't tell you how many times I've relived this moment. Knowing that in one sentence had offended myself, and all the women whom I respect. I floundered to save any face that I could. In the few seconds I stood there I couldn't decide whether to quickly apologise and laugh it off as the slip that it was, (which is what I know I should have done every time I relive this), or try and defend my poor language. Instead, I stood there looking just as dumb as I sounded, the intended boost of confidence completely lost in my appalling language.
My dear friend and roommate Kiah, to whom I will ever feel grateful, said, "Kara I'll allow you to use the word Hell in our apartment but I have to draw the line at taking the lords name in vain." I can't convey it here but she said it in such a way that we were all able to uncomfortably laugh it off and enjoy the rest of the evening.
I spent the next ten minutes trying to recover from the embarrassment and shook it off to enjoy the party. But that night as I lay in bed reliving the mortification, I realised I had allowed my standard for myself to slip just enough that I allowed those words to pass my lips. Would my bad habit of using the word hell turn me into a crude, curse using, tramp? I decided then and there that no word that was offensive and crude would ever pass my lips again. I would use my skills with vocabulary to get my point across and never resort to cursing.
I'm sure that this will still haunt those wakeful hours before I fall asleep, just as all embarrassing memories do. I'll cringe and shake if off and once again say I'll never do that again, but maybe wrting it here will help me make some peace with it.
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