A Tragedy of Which Shakespeare Would Be Proud

 

About a month ago we purchased some new members of our family.
Fish.
The two dalmatian mollies were named Treasure and Pile-o-skulls, and the Two black mollies were named The Black Captain and Eowyn. These last two pay homage to my ever growing love for The Lord of the Rings, The Black Captain being the name of the King of the ring wraiths, and Eowyn being his ultimate end.

Que the foreshadow-y music.

We bought the tank, the food, some plants, and even the water treatment stuff to make our water "safe for the fish."

Little did I know that I had brought home two little murderers.


For a while, everything went normally. Feed the fish, wave at the fish, forget about the fish. Periodically I'd count them to make sure one hadn't died or escaped. Until one day before leaving the house I count three instead of four. I poked around a bit to see if he was hiding or dead somewhere at the top but came up empty. Finally, I found the body dump. Pile-o-Skulls was wedged behind the filter.

Now, I can do bugs, mice, puke, whatever, but I do not do dead. Squishy floaty dead fish fall into this category and I had somewhere to be, so I left the evidence floating in the tank.

Upon my return, I found not one, but two bodies floating in the tank. The Black Captain had met a similar end. I really shouldn't have been surprised having marked him for death by placing his end in there with him. Eowyn was swimming funny and looking guilty. At this point, I realized it was the two males who were dead.

I could have easily dismissed the first death had he not been mysteriously hidden from view. The second death clinched it. I began to feel that the two females had plotted the untimely demise of their tank mates.

After allowing Dear Husband to dispose of the evidence, flushing, and trumpeting "Taps" to boot, I monitored the tank periodically to make sure there were no more deaths.

Saturday went by with no incident, although Eowyn continued to swim funny and mope at the bottom of the tank.

Sunday brought the end of the tragedy. Eowyn died that morning with Treasure quickly to follow that evening.

Using my skills of deduction I have come to this conclusion. Treasure was the mastermind of the plot. She ended Pile-o-Skulls for having more pirate-cred but needed help to hide the body. She enlisted Eowyn to help, which she did because sisters have to stick together.

Once the body had been found, Treasure new The Black Captain would soon discover the truth and seek justice. In a panic, she and Eowyn ended him as well.

But Eowyn could not live with the guilt. She became increasingly agitated. Treasure became desperate to console her friend should her behavior raise suspicion. Alas, Eowyn died of guilt and a broken heart only a day later.

Now, because I do not touch dead things, Treasure was left alone with the body of Eowyn for several hours while we went to church. She was completely alone now, with the two murders on her fin's. Unable to bear the guilt and the loneliness of her now empty tank she lay down beside her dead friend and thus she died.

Authors note:
 From what I understand, the fish probably died from some bad food that got in their tank while I was cleaning the lid. But why tell that story when I could tell a much better tragedy. Taking a leaf from The Bard's book and making it my own with much more blood, death, and emotional turmoil.

Here's to the 25 cent goldfish soon to come home. Perhaps they will fare better than the tragic tale of "The Four Mollies of Petco."