Trapped

I can hear it always. Scraping at the edges of its squalid prison. Raking at the walls demanding freedom. Sometimes it is silent but the restless rise and fall of it’s breathing never let’s it drift from thought.

At times it RAWRS! Bellowing to be set free, fire jetting from its mighty jaws! It pounds on the walls and pulls its binding chains taught. It gouges holes in the walls with its powerful claws. But I will not let it out. It watches me through the cracks created in the weaker edges of its dungeon. Its burning eyes tell me there will be no mercy the day it is finally free.

It knows I’m the one that locked it away, the one that built the walls that hold it captive. Stone by stone with bloody hands I built its prison to stop the pain. To lock away the monster. Unwilling to face the torment it brought upon me. I shut it in never to let it go. Hoping it would disappear.

Some days the door creaks and bends threatening to break. Sometimes it nearly escapes. I force it back inside, struggling to keep it at bay, finally pressing the door back into place. Then I collapse exhausted and in tears. There will be a day that I will have to face it and either defeat it or let it consume me. I lay against the door praying for strength. I can’t face this alone.